I am in over my head and I'm glad. Those years when I wasn't now seem pretty vain. I thought I knew stuff and handled it better than others. I esteemed my perspectives highly and felt sorry for you dopes who couldn't see life from my branch of the tree.
However, God has changed the rules and I somehow don't seem to be in charge of nor on top of matters the way I once assumed. My loftiness transformed in to left-me-ness.
Truthfully, the more I learn the less I know. Jesus is my rock and he will not be given away as other sands appropriately shift.
How many times does one have to conclude he or she or we are wrong?
How many times do I have to learn this lesson again?
The Word keep pecking away at my self-indulgent stances. Alluring culture keeps caving in as unstable. And, the days' harshnesses continue to slap me around as if to say I'm not the one running this show. Really? I sorta assumed I was to at least try.
So it turns out I didn't want to take many leaps of faith so God had to ramp up the pressure to get me to begin to learn to walk a life with Him when it means I am in over my head. A few of the things I don't know are:
- How to be a good husband and dad
- How to be a good friend
- How to be an effective preacher
- How to be a good giver in the church
- How to be a good student of the Word
- How to manage an office crew
- How to grow in prayer
- How to ......(fill in the blank)
I'm not worthless. I have, however, been steadily reduced in position and posture to a kindergarten level with no hopes of getting to first grade. I'm not overwhelmed with troubles. I'm in over my head concerning the concepts of God which are thrillingly full of wonder and awe.
I hope I lose ground (Terry-tory) day by day because living in over my head with God is far more meaningful than keeping my head above water and trying to manage routine life on my own. It doesn't matter how tall any of us are, God is always taller.
Ah, good.
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