I'm 62. Not until recent years have I finally experienced a breakthrough that has been a long time coming. I am able to resist so many temptations of being defensive. Cured? I assume not. New and improved? Yes.
This mistake is probably one sin (see comment on last blog) the church suffers over most and is clueless to its degrading nature. We just accept it as a part of us when it scuttles so much of His intended work among us. Defensiveness keeps the rest of the church tip-toeing around somebody about something....so much of the time.
How do we get over it? Well, I suffered a lot. Why can't we just say the words out loud, I might be wrong. I got it wrong. I'm sorry. Why? Instead we keep good works at bay because brother Vesper will get upset or sister Constance will withhold her contribution. When will we grow up? When will we break these invisible handcuffs which stop good works in their tracks?
It has been grueling to learn to let defensiveness die. I had to admit I didn't control....anything. I had to discontinue my thoughts that I was the drive shaft of the church. I never was. The Spirit is. It never was up to Terry who runs things or Terry who wills things....but up to God who has mercy....Romans 9:16....sorta.
If we can but continue to grow in trusting God more with His work than ourselves we will find ourselves more open to possibility rather than sealed in preservation. (Ah, another good blog!)
2 comments:
Who, me? Defensive? What are you trying to say, Terry!
Just kidding. Blessings
Terry, I loved seeing you a few weeks ago at the big dinner. And I love it when you talk about the Spirit.
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