Wednesday, September 17, 2008

IN MY SHOES

I don't even know if it's all right to write this. I try to encourage you regarding kingdom matters. It may be especially important to share works I don’t know how to handle for some of you hit the same wall. I think it valuable leadership among you to speak of my inability to know what to do. While you read of my weaknesses, God somehow uses such as strength. The most dominating comment I receive from those who have ordered the 100% Natural Evangelism DVDs is appreciation that I share where I failed in outreach. Why is that? It lets people in.

I am entering a zone of ministry which I find myself in over my head….once again. A door has been opened for me to reach out to a gay woman. Initially, our connection came about as I sought her advice about a project. I have no experience in ministering to this specific and important community. I really like her…and I really love her. We had never met before, but since our initial visit she has attended Memorial three times. Another meeting is set up at her request.

I do not know how to go about this. All I know to do is to love her the way I think Jesus would. I don’t understand the gay lifestyle because I’m not tempted by it. I understand the lust lifestyle, and the greed lifestyle, and the outburst of anger lifestyle, and the faction lifestyle (all spelled out in Galatians 5:19-20) because I’m not only tempted in those and others……..I’m guilty of them. Hers? I’m not tempted in any fashion of it except one; being critical.

I’m going into this zone unprepared. I don’t know what to do to assist in lifting her from this sinful practice. I know for sure Jesus loves her as much as he does anyone. I will assume he will speak through our developing relationship. I am curious. For now my goal is to listen. I want to hear from her how being raised in the church felt. What goes on in her heart? Is she torn? Confused? In denial? What? I am praying God would work to lift this wonderful woman to new life in Him that perhaps she has yet to discover.

I share with you a brief moment of standing in my shoes that you might be encouraged at the perplexing situations you find yourself in while trying to reach the world with the heart of God. I am clueless. At times, you are. May we try well.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brother Terry, I don't know if this is as much advice or just thoughts. If you go to the website below and resources, 100 questions, there will be information there dealing with homosexuality. May God bless your every endeavor, Jim Cooke

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/

Anonymous said...

not resources, but get equipped

jim cooke

Anonymous said...

Terry,

I am certainly no expert here but I have had the same experience. I took my car to my mechanic a few weeks ago only to discover he had a sex change. After the initial shock wore off I gave him my card and let him know if he ever needed someone to pray for him to give me a call. I don't know how much good that did but I do know he understood that I cared about him as a person and as a minister and didn't look down my nose at him.

I would suggest you have a look at Dan Kimball's curriculum - They like Jesus But Not the Church. The DVD is powerful as he interviews lots of non-Christians and gets their perspective on the church, Christians, and Jesus. While you won't agree with everything he says it is eye opening and gives insights you won't find anywhere else. Kimball is trying to inform Christians about areas the world looks at and thinks we are angry and out of touch (women's roles, homosexuality, etc). I would really encourage you to hear what he has to say. He has a book They Like Jesus But Not the Church as well.

Anonymous said...

At the risk of being simplistic--Your task/method ought to be the same as with everybody. Lift up the name of Jesus--what he's done for you, is doing and will do. If, in the big picture, you want to convert/introduce her to Jesus, then share the Jesus that you know. It's not your task to remind/understand/learn her problem. Just lift up Jesus and let Him do His work. Gay people have hurts and job struggles and health issues like everyone else. Especially as it relates to C of C background--Acts 2 teaches that the Lord adds to the church not the church adding to the Lord. Mk 5--Tell her what Jesus has done for you; invite her to help you ala John 4; pray with her about her mom with cancer; pay her electric bill; take her to work in a soup kitchen with your youth group; invite her and her date (who also needs Jesus) to church and dinner afterward (Aren't you glad Ananias and Barnabas helped Saul of Tarsus?) Gay people have cars that need washing and yards that need mowing. Let her know who "this Jesus is you talk/blog about every day" "Such WERE some of you"--may have been a 15 year process but what is that in comparison to eternity?

Terry Laudett said...

I'm clueless even with people I know well and with sins I understand well (and sometimes I'm even clueless about how to handle my own sins and problems).

Anonymous said...

Glad you're spending time with her - many wouldn't bother. I can't say I'm surprised to hear you are though - I feel I've gotten to know you by regularly reading your blog.

On another note, I'm not surprised to hear so many have communicated their appreciation for your openess about failure in the 100% Evangelism series.

I've not gone through the entire thing (I've not watched the last lesson), but I got more out of hearing you express your fear of failure more than anything else. In fact, it's caused me to change the way I teach people myself.

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I love ya, Terry Rush...I have for years. Who else puts this kind of thing RIGHT out there other than you? Rip it up, tear it down, brother. Let's figure this stuff out. I agree with one of the people here: there's no special way to treat this person. It's a shame we think there even IS one. Just do what you always do with EVERYONE who needs the Lord: love her, share Jesus - easy. There isn't anything else TO do. The only reason I think you MAY be questioning it at ALL is because I think you MIGHT be struggling with whether or not this one really counts as a sin. When I see the medical pictures of the gay brain being clearly different from straight people I have to wonder, "Do we really have this right? Would God MAKE someone gay? If not, then why the difference in brain structure?" I'm straight and married for 20 years, but this is a big topic for the church in my book. And no one but Terry is gonna have the guts to at least ASK if we're right on this one or not. And for that reason, I hold you up, and thank God for you. Preach on, Brother. Preach...ON!

Anonymous said...

This is an especially difficult situation. Christians have tended to hold homosexuals to a different standard than liars, thieves, etc. Also, people in the world wouldn't even equate homosexuality as sin an on par with lying and stealing. Add in that the feeling by many homosexuals that the last place in the world they need to be is in a church full of people who think they are going to hell just for being who they believe God made them to be.

I would say that makes for an exceptionally difficult outreach situation that has to be handled with lots of prayer and very, very gracefully.

Anonymous said...

Hello. My name is Mason Puckett. I'm in the campus ministry at UCC. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your lesson this past Sunday. I've never felt so good about being useless. I thank God so much for what you showed me.

Anonymous said...

A simplistic follow-up to my earlier comment--Stop thinking and talking of your friend as a gay person and start thinking/talking of her as a person. Otherwise, you'll seek the right marketing approach to make the right salespitch as opposed to lifting up Jesus and letting Him draw her to Him. Jesus is the focus for you--she is the focus for Jesus.

Donna G said...

You have already said the most important thing...you love her...the Spirit will guide you through the rest if you keep that in your heart.

Tim said...

TR - let me echo the other commenters... thank you for not being afraid to ask the tough questions... for so many years, our fellowship has alternatively ignored then villified the gay community...

many have said it better than me, but I will agree: just lift Him up and let Him work. ...be a friend to this creation-of-God just as you would any other sinner (I believe that includes us all)

God Bless! tm

Vasca said...

You show how to "do it" in the 100% Natural Evangelism series...you'll be Spirit led...naturally. So just let it go...she'll get the picture in a most loving/graceful way...that's the way He works...don't you agree? That's what you taught me and believe me...it's working. Way to go...movin' my mind up.

Anonymous said...

Terry~I will be praying for you in this situation. You know how Shawn has been around this quite a bit in his profession.
SOOO enjoyed my 1/2 DP 1/2 DDP yesterday!! You are the justest of all justs that ever justed! Thanks for spending time with me!!
Also, Shawn had not heard anything about far-infrared sauna. Wanted to pass that on.
Love you much!!
Arlene

Liz Moore said...

You always love first and then allow God to work through you. This time will be no different. Go wherever God leads you and it will be right. Love you friend!

Brenda said...

Terry,
I have thought and thought about your post & didn't know how to respond.

Let me say one of the things I love about you most is that you are willing to and publicly admit your failures, your weaknesses, and your temptations as well as your struggles and failures.
I too struggle with many, if not all, of those that you struggle with. But there is always something else. Another area in life that for some reason, we don't really speak of.

I have many gay friends. Some I talk to on a daily basis. Where you are in this with ministry is difficult. For one, you can't relate, and for two, you are taught to teach the teachings of the Bible which speak against this.

But the Bible doesn't speak against love and understanding. You still love her and cherish her like any other member or visitor of the flock. You treat her no differently. You don't look at her differently. She is still God's child and He created her, in His image! I ask myself...what's not to understand?
And that's the point! He equipped all of us the same in the beginning, but each of us have a different road in life that He has allowed us to go down. It's a choice. Could she live forever in this lifestyle? Sure! So could a drug dealer, or a prostitute, or a murderer. If they came to church on Sunday, would you have a difficult time ministering to them?

We all have labels.

Mine.....I'M A SINNER!

Just like everyone else. That puts me right there with all those that I have listed above. I don't walk around and say "Hi, my name is Brenda, and I'm a sinner" Just as much as she doesn't say "Hi, my name is ________and I am gay". Who knows?? Maybe we should practice that kind of admission of sin.

What you should see happening is us introducing ourselves as children of God. Christians! Ones that don't judge. Ones that aren't critical. Ones that are loving no matter what. We really shouldn't even have to introduce ourselves that way. Others should just see it in us by our love and acceptance. I'm sure it was extremely difficult for her to tell you her lifestyle!

Sometimes, the truest credibility that we will ever have is the example of Jesus that we let her see through us. If we get lost in the teachings, we will lose her in love. If we lose her in love, then what have we as a body of Christ accomplished? Nothing! We are just like everyone else! And then she will go on in life and we will hope that the next church will minister to her? WRONG! It just can't work that way. If a sheep wanders, how does it ever find it's way back home unless it's shepherd searches and find it? It doesn't! It is more likely to be eaten by the wolves!

In this case, the sheep has not yet been eaten...but looking for a new flock!

So many times Paul tried to find a connection with non-believers that would draw them closer to God and as he did, it helped him to connect with believers and non-believers all the same. This is a way to unity.

Look outside of the box here:
We go into the mission field to teach the word! Do you see yourself in those places, in that lifestyle, living like those that you are ministering to? Probably not.

Now....look at the gay community as a mission field.

What is your mission? Is it to bring her out of this sin? No. That's not your job! That's God's! You job is to teach the word and help her to open her heart God. So many times in your sermons you have said that very thing and God took over. It's like that saying "If you build it, He will come" ;o)

She could have come to Church and never told you her orientation. I commend her for being bold! It's hard to tell a minister that info!

If we are uncaring...then we are uneducated as Christians! She needs to be invited to and just as involved as me or you in this body.

I think you have to really ask yourself some hard questions in regards to this. What worries you so much about it? Is it her lifestyle? Is it that she may bring more with her? Are you afraid you can't change her? Are you worried what the flock will think?

We can't love the sinner and hate the sin when this is their choice of lifestyle. So is the same with all sinners. Those that lust, commit adultery, greed, pride, envy, jealousy, gambling, drunkenness, etc. That pretty much defines most of the people I know! We will never move forward with that mentality, because for some, it is a way of life and we can't quit being judgmental.


I believe that all of us sinners (no matter what the sin) can be changed by the grace of God. All of us. All of us sinners! Me too!


All this to say: Invite her, Love her, add her to your flock....OUR FLOCK! Encourage her and let her know she is just like us. Even better.....let your flock know...THEY ARE JUST LIKE HER! No different!

Love her as you are commanded to. He'll provide the rest.

Keith Roberts said...

I'm surprised there were no negative reactions to your blog. My, how things have changed.