Ah, that title isn't exactly right is it? However, I speak a word to all church leaders, all business leaders, all family leaders; slow down.
One of the things that made me sick in my early years was trying to keep up with the fickle demands of church members. So many wanted me to jump at their call at their convenience. Me? I hopped for I was a "good" minister who really cared.
Add to that I traveled a lot; too much for a young man. I was off inspiring the church to save the world. But one day I heard someone reference a very famous preacher among us and he said, "You know his kids left the church, right?" No. I was clueless....and it greatly disturbed me.
I made immediate changes. I cancelled workshop keynotes. I began to go to my kids' games regularly. My target was that when I get done with ministry there would also be my three in the mix. And....God has blessed.
This quote was sent today, "This is a difficult subject for me to write about, but over the years, the [Billy Graham Evangelistic Association] and the Team became my second family without my realizing it," Graham recalled in his autobiography, Just As I Am. "Ruth says those of us who were off traveling missed the best part of our lives—enjoying the children as they grew. She is probably right. I was too busy preaching all over the world.
"Only Ruth and the children can tell what those extended times of separation meant to them. For myself, as I look back, I now know that I came through all those years much the poorer both psychologically and emotionally. I missed so much by not being home to see the children grow and develop. The children must carry scars of those separations too."
Coincidentally, I visited with a friend just this week who is a preacher's kid. He spoke in resentment of how his dad was never around.
So listen, all of us who are leaders are highly conscientious about being responsible to those who pay our way. But we need to be encouraged to say the two-letter word very clearly--NO--when any press to get us to give them more favor than our children.
Yes, they will say ugly things about us. Furthermore, they won't be around when our grown children crater....for they truly care less. Our children are our responsibilities and we want to do the best we can. None of us are ideal at this role. But time spent in attentiveness is always a right thing to do.
3 comments:
I say a hearty “Amen”. Our preacher is wise and has insight way beyond his years. I have told him on several occasions to be sure and keep his family in the forefront of his ministry. He assures me he is, yet sometimes I can tell he is exhausted. We have great elders and I don’t believe they are the reason he is so busy, it is just his passion. I do think he tries to maintain a healthy balance but I’m keeping my eye on him, just like a good mom. :)(I call him my son.)
I was very fortunate in that (1) I served churches where the elders insisted that I put my family first, and (2) I was not in any demand as a speaker!! I could focus on ministry to those who hired me and not worry about saving everyone else. Much of the speaking preachers do elsewhere has more to do with pride and recognition than it does with actually furthering the kingdom of God, in my humble opinion. I grew up in north Alabama where we were encouraged to support the "gospel meetings" of other churches so that when we had our "gospel meeting" they would come and support us. Never made much sense to me.
Than said, when you came to Long Beach you really encouraged us!!
Thanks for this, Terry!
Get this message out to youth ministers!
I am blessed where I am currently, but was told in another church that I was "not giving 100%" after returning from FIVE weeks of church camps!
I hear of so many youth ministers who go, go, go and end up burning out after two years.
My favorite time of day is when I get to tell my kids a Bible story before bed.
Last night was Jacob wrestling with God. My four year old's comment? "...I wanna wrestle with God, daddy...that would be FUN!"
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