Most ministers desire to be people-pleasers. Strangely, we sometimes don’t. If you are anything like me, this is terribly disturbing. My first set of Memorial elders kept saying, “You are so thin-skinned!” Well, need I tell you this really rubbed me the wrong way?!?! Clue: if someone is thin-skinned you don’t go around telling them that!
Or, do you? The elders’ statements were true and I’ve had to overcome a lot of self-inflicted misery due to the habit of taking things the wrong way because I was, in reality, far too thin-skinned. They were right and a part of my improving in this area was their continued truthful (and painful) remarks.
Becoming calloused isn’t the answer. Being more Christ-centered instead of self is. I was well-trained from the time I was a kid to believe I possessed incredible, immeasurable lack. Therefore, I learned two things quickly: (1) I learned to cover failure with instant humor, or (2) I immediately withdrew into a shell of self-pity. There was no debate. Each insult proved what I already knew; I was dumb. I carried this flaw into manhood. Bad deal, I’m telling you.
I can tell you I’ve improved and it feels a whole lot better. Breakdowns occur, but I practice doing better. This brings me to the main point: some in our circles remain as I once experienced. They seemingly are looking to be offended. You know what I mean. They are in the church simply waiting to get their feelings hurt. Don’t become bogged down in this zone. May I say it a little firmer: give it no attention. Childishness from adults deserves none of our attention.
For me? I needed to grow up. I am making progress. Thin-skinned is a silly trait when the Master had his pierced on the cross. Disregard the cries of immature members with hurt feelings. Love them; but disregard their enslavement to needing consoled. Give them something to cry about….needy and wounded souls.
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