Thursday, August 11, 2016


I have come up with a great line to encourage any person who is manning the cash register at any business.  I just build an oh-so-slight bit of tension only to next ease into bringing them a smile.  When it's my turn in line to pay, I ask a very simple question; Do you accept bad checks or stolen credit cards?

Immediately their eyebrows form a V.  And then, at the next immediately, smiles form a U.  And they always have a comeback that sort of makes a guy feel good like we've just become good friends....maybe even family....and next week we may even draw names for Christmas.

Ah, that's just an idea of one way to break into the good hearts of some very important people who walk upon our paths...or us theirs.

And while I've got you on the phone, I share another ice-breaker I have with the Police who gather regularly at Jesse's at 11th and Memorial for breakfast.  I will walk back to their table and ask if it would be possible today to shoot the gun inside as long as I don't hit a customer.  As nice as each of them is, they sure seem to have a negativity toward my question when I only wanted to shoot the gun one time.

So then I will next ask one of them if they would care if I were to take one of the squad cars for brief spin.  This causes more smiles as I plead to stay on the parking lot; but I do request lights be a-flashing and the siren roaring!  Oh, how my imagination can just see the pride in my mom's eyes as I would do the parking the squad car.  Dare I ask to wear a badge?  Nay, I don't want to push it.

Oh, how this does create a stir among the officers.  Unglued might fit some moments.

Their best comeback to my inquiring as to driving the squad car is, No!  But we WILL puts the handcuffs on you and let you ride around in the backseat.  Well, duh.  Shouldn't they know by now that one can't drive a squad car from the back seat?  And, here they are supposed to be protecting us from the messes of the strange people in our neighborhood?  Oh.....oh yeah...I get it now.

I just love people.  The above are two examples where I walk in through the back door unarmed...and capture them!  They are friends!

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