Being a preacher is just the weirdest thing in the whole world. Well, maybe that's an exaggerated statement; so let it suffice to say that it is very different than what I had assumed as I went into it.
I love the work. I love God. And I'm crazy about the people. Who wouldn't want to get to do what I do? Furthermore, I'm so grateful for the tasks before me.
So what's strange?
I am never good enough. Do you realize that? We of this position are never adequate. I had assumed I would turn Inadequate corner and onto Adequate Avenue. Finally I realized, it isn't going to happen.
Yes, the Bible makes it clear that we are never adequate in ourselves. Oh, I don't have to be reminded. But somehow I had wished, hoped, guessed, and thought that I would finally be elevated to....at least adequate. Well really, I was hoping for superior in places...but surely adequate.
Nope. It isn't there.
This leaves me/those in similar roles quite vulnerable. Once again I have my sermon ready for this morning; yet due to my serious lack it isn't done and won't ever be done. I'll just finally stop verbalizing this morning. It's weird. It's just so strange to live an exciting venture of preaching when you never sense that it is enough.
Only God holds those accolades. I am confident that He will use my inadequacy to give attention to His Spirit during the process. Yay Him!
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