I'll just tell you how it is. Yesterday's awful---see yesterday's post---turned out to be more awful than anticipated.
A visitor of four months unloaded on me yesterday morning just as services were beginning. I really like this man and have visited with him often during these multi-weeks. He was mad.
No one speaks to you here. You can't break in to these cliques. It broke my heart.
I hate it when anyone visits Memorial and doesn't sense the welcome they deserve.
Here I was just about to preach and Bob just couldn't quit peeling away at my heart. I finally had to walk away, go back to my office, dry my sissy tears, and move back in. My heart was not in preaching.
My heart was not in preaching the way I want my heart to feel. Yet, I thanked God for the upset for evidently my heart needed adjustment to preach the way God intended.
The sermon was okay.
When it was over, Bob approached me with apology for his poor timing and then lit in again as to how unfriendly this place is. Oddly, I had noticed one of our members chatting with him and his wife just before he approached me for round two. Stranger yet is that while he was dispensing his aggravation, one of our members butted in to greet him and then moved on.
My point is I wasn't in heart to do my sermon yesterday. I had to trust God I was in the form He desired. Sometimes, our heart doesn't feel like it is in it. Our duties insist we are on whether the mood has stricken. And....God will use us anyway.