One of the marvels in my life is I found a place I really feel like I fit. The church is an ideal spot for a fiercely insecure grown man. And, yippee, I get to be a part of the most exciting system on earth because it is completely designed for misfits....like me.
For those mature ones of you--and there are very many--you need to know what you are dealing with. And for those immature ones as myself, you need to know what the mature ones are dealing with....US!
Insecurity carries awful baggage. A strong blemish among us categorized in this zone is we don't do conflict. It isn't that we don't do it well. We don't do it.
This explains the maze of division among us. Little of it is about what the Bible says. Much of it springs from the natural fruit of weak-minded elders and preachers just like me. We are good in hearts and lousy in dealing openly and honestly with the weaknesses that we convince ourselves we have masked with some sort of faux wisdom.
The good news is we can make it! We can!
Let us not be surprised at our vast amount of flaws. But let us be ashamed if we refuse to learn from our inadequacies by continuing to rely on our best logic versus leaning upon the Holy Spirit power.
The Holy Spirit is the dividing line. We will or we won't pull out of our enormous lack based upon our effort to grow in understanding the Holy Spirit which can't be understood....but is to be experienced.
I wish I were this great example of strength and honor and skill and drive. But I'm none of these. I am a weakling empowered by the Spirit of God. If He doesn't get the job done, the job doesn't get done.
The problem with us isn't that we haven't had many lessons on the need to go by the Bible. It is that we have defended our shameful childishness in promoting suspicion and anger as a part of leadership in the kingdom. We try to talk big and walk big....when we aren't anything of the sort. We are fundamentally in the way of God's willing progress.
At age 65 I am just now beginning to begin to learn more of what it takes to get to be enmeshed into the glorious and striking work of God.
Thanks be to God for those of you who endure us.