My introduction into the church and subsequent years immediately following were riddled with tension. Some of it I caused. Lots of it just came from being the way we are....neurotic and nervous. I wasn't discerning just how much we belittled ourselves. We even had such things as "brotherhood papers" which kept the evil spirit among us alive in many camps. We were divided by much assumption. We assumed what we read...and then what we heard...was gospel. Much of it wasn't. It was evil.
To make it worse I jumped in with both feet. There are those who would tell you they wouldn't walk across the street to hear me preach and I would vouch that I don't blame them. I wouldn't either if I was still putting out the line-in-the-sand gospel I once spewed. I was a mean-spirited, fearful, yeller. The flock wasn't built by my preaching; it was beaten.
Psalm 46:10 has become one of my mottoes; Be still and know I am God. The be still part means to let go and relax. What a new world for me. What a brilliant world. An author known as Brother Lawrence wrote that we try to take on too many issues when we ought to remain silent and let God take care of matters. News to me!
As it turns out my earlier years appeared more like a church gossip/busybody than reflecting the calm of Jesus. But I'm learning and liking what I'm seeing. God is actually involved and if I'll but wait, He will show up....amazingly at just the right time.
I don't know that you live in extreme tension. If you do I cheer you on; enjoy the day. Relax. Be still. He is God. That will do it.
4 comments:
Mr. Rush, you cannot know the encouragement these words provided me today. Thank you for making yourself so transparent, warts and all. Bless you.
Such an easy thing to get trapped by and wrapped up in, without even knowing it. We beleive deeply, feel strongly about much. And, much of it we should, but we don't separate the non-negotiable from the preferences and we go too far. It's usually with good intentions, isn't it? We also fear what we don't know and, often, something new. It's tough being us sometimes...so thankful for God's grace!
Jay
Terry, almost every post for the last 2 weeks has been a great help and encouragement! You set me on this path when you were here a few years ago and it continues to produce the fruit of God's Spirit. Thank you very much!
You may not be admired for your batting skills when in your Cardinals uniform -:) but you have been hitting some home runs in your blog lately. If only (how many times I've said or thought this after reading one of your blogs) I'd known yesterday when I began preaching what I know today, after 30 years of preaching.
Love you, bro!!
Greg England
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