Thursday, February 01, 2007

Say "No" to Guilters

I address those of you who find your lips saying "yes" to service requests when your weary heart and tired body beg of you from within to say "no". We live in demanding times. Higher goals, bigger projects, greater returns; all press on us to keep the activation mode clicked on. And, we find ourselves sometimes very tired.

Do you ever catch yourself lying to get out of someone else's pressured scheduling so you can keep from going to one more thing? Do you find yourself at an event bored to tears and frustrated with yourself for taking on the commitment to be there; especially when it's not that important you are?

Beware of GUILTERS. These are fellow servants/friends who cannot say "no" themselves; thus they feel obligated to share their rat-race, jam-packed, clock-ignoring lifestyle finding themselves spread so unhealthily thin their lack of discipline spews over onto you. GUILTERS make us crazy.

Learn the call of Jesus. Say "yes" when you mean "yes" and "no" when you mean "no". Don't offer excuses. Such are not needed. You don't owe explanation as to why you won't be at a birthday party; give such if you want, but mainly learn to say "no" when your mind/spirit/body are whispering the two-letter word clearly from within.

GUILTERS want you to please them. Somewhere along the way.....YOU WON'T. It's a selfish game and you will be the loser. Don't spend a lot of time trying to please those who cannot be pleased. Love them? Yes. Buckle to their guilt-trips? No.

Sometimes (as cowardly as I am) I've found myself saying to a pressing GUILTER who would not quit, "What part of "no" do you not understand?"

5 comments:

Greg said...

Especially difficult for the preacher to say, "No," but I've learned when to do that. And those who will get over it do so ... and those who don't get over it just move on to guilt the next person. Good wisdom today, Terry.

DJT said...

I am GUILTY. Guilty of lying to "gently" say no. Thanks for convicting me!

Angie said...

I sure could've used this post about 20 years ago! But thank God, I'm finally getting it!

Liz Moore said...

I have learned to say no, but your right, I try to justify my no. Thanks for the reminder, because I'm guilty. And you really feel so much better when you just say no, without trying to explain why. Great post!

Trey Morgan said...

"what part of no do you not understand."

I haven't quite got there yet, but I have finally realized that I don't have to please everyone all the time. I can't always say yes. I'm not sure how to keep from feeling guilty when I don't please everyone though.

Hum... makes me think!