Saturday, March 19, 2016


Society is packed with mixture; differing preferences, styles, and opinions.  We get it. We like it.  We are it.  Such variables affect even the perception of faith in God.

There is this constant tugging at my heart which pumps day in and day out without fail. I speak of thinking about and dearly loving the masses who are either neutral or negative toward developing a faith in God.  The reason for the tug is that I once was one of those that church people tried to figure just how they might reach.

I didn't like church and I especially had a bias against ministers.

And then....I became the very thing I opposed.  What changed?  I'll tell you the nutshell of my story should it encourage some of you who still have enough openness in your heart to at least ponder the possibility of God's calling in your direction...for I believe He is reaching strongly.

I regarded church, in my earlier years, to be one of the most non-life entities ever established.  It felt...well it felt plastic.  In going to Sunday School there was a disconnect between that long forty-five minutes and the rest of the day and then the next six days.  Church-time was more of the same.  But I tried to feel better about myself for having attended.

I must be clear that while I held such feelings, it doesn't mean that others attending didn't get wonder and awe from it. Rather, I'm just stating my reality.  For me, there was some sort of conscience-cleaning having punched my religious clock; but I got nothing out of sitting in rows and counting the minutes until I could get myself outta there.

I carry no blame for the church where I took repeated stabs at attending.  It was me.  I didn't get it.  Therefore, the boredom was louder than the music, the sermons, and the handshakes at the door as I was leaving.  I've put in my time, God.  I endured another one.  Now bless me.

By God's great mercy, He didn't give up on me.  He continued to open windows and doors where I could peer into possibilities and walk into opportunities to join the most powerful system on earth; His Kingdom.  The difference maker?  His call for us to help those who are depressed, lonely, and simply lost as to finding meaning in life.

I think about this all day long every day.  Great people, wonderful people, famous ones and unknown ones, each carry an inner ache wishing to be more than we are.  There is a holy gap within the interior of every individual that may be denied to friends in order to save face of sounding religious; but inwardly the call of God will not go away.  This is who we are....His.

Not in my wildest imagination would I have believed as a kid that I would preach, teach, and reach for the things of God.  Not.  Going.  To.  Happen.

I'm saying that there are some of you reading this post right now who know the exact tug of the heart of which I speak.  It seems rather nebulous and certain; all at the same time.  We want to deny Him; but He won't go away.  We try to convince ourselves that He doesn't exist; yet we can't understand why we keep wondering if He does.  We want to inquire about this issue; but what would colleagues think?

So here's what I can say.  Your friends and colleagues who have implied that they have no use for God or for churches are quietly, silently, and privately pondering the very same thing.  I encourage you that, when you are ready, you reach to one who has been there done that.  I'm one... ...should you not have a go-to person who can't shield your identity as you ponder aloud what you wonder in secret.

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