I don't know if I'm weird or if I'm normal (no voting please).
I hit occasional down-spots where I feel discouraged and simply haven't a clue as to why. It's one thing to feel empty because of conflict with a person(s) or an event(s). Yet, to come over the horizon of a moment in time and sense depression for no clear reason seems...really weird.
For one, working with God seems to be somewhat of a conflict. I must continually remind myself to believe in His ability; not in mine. Inadequacy has always been my strong suit so that part is most natural.
The friction may be that I'm trying to constantly yield my inadequate self of me to the quite adequate Holy Spirit...within me. I don't know if you all find this to be a snap. Me? Not so easy.
So you say, Terry, what seems to spark this struggle?
I say, There is so much to be done and so many who are better equipped than me to do it.
You say, Don't you remember your Philippians 4:4-9 teaching of shift our minds to think on the right, excellent, trustworthy, and then the peace of God will guard your heart and your mind?
Then I say, Oh yeah. I forgot that part. I will choose to think on what is going right more than what coulda/shoulda/woulda.
Then you say, You know, Terry, we are all so much alike. We struggle with the desire to be more than we are. But we are more than we are through the Spirit of Jesus. He indwells to take us places we could never go on our own. You must remember that if it is to be, it is up to Him to work it out. You, Terry, are to be inclined to wait for Him and then move for Him that He might be glorified.
My response is, But I'm this age and still so nothing.
Your response to my response insists, Yes, but being nothing means there is great room for Him to fill you with His presence.
Me. Good point. I get discouraged with my lack...but He seems willing to use me anyway.
Oh. I feel better now. Thanks for the talk.
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