Have you ever noticed that some people are just odd? And then others are a huge pain in the neck? And then others are just despicable?
Well I have. I sorta developed a handy way of figuring just who I wanted in my circle versus those who didn't belong. What's worse is that I am not referencing judgments when being a kid. I speak as being a minister.
So, that's just not so neat, huh?
God showed me a better way. He just wouldn't quit chipping at my arrogant self-assumption of how special I was compared to some. First, Romans 2:1-5 says that I am as guilty as any I would judge. And then II Cor. 10:12 is clear that I must not compare myself to others for when such is the case, I don't have a grasp of the way things really are.
How we eliminate those who bug us is to take on a tenderness of heart understanding that such ones may have been injured in the past (even abused and neglected) and we are no different. When a man berates society and all of its leadership, I have learned not to dismiss him; but to wonder who cheated his spirit in days past. When I look into the eyes of every homeless person, I wonder who wasn't there for them when they were hurt as a kid. Who put them down? Who didn't help them learn to read or write or interact?
Henri Nouwen speaks to each of us as we deal with those who bug us. Let us not underestimate how hard it is to be compassionate. Compassion is hard because it requires the inner disposition to go with others to the place where they are weak, vulnerable, lonely, and broken. But this is not our spontaneous response to suffering. What we desire is to do away with suffering by fleeing from it or finding a quick cure for it. As busy, active, relevant ministers, we want to earn our bread by making a real contribution. This means first and foremost doing something to show that our presence makes a difference. And so we ignore our greatest gift, which is our ability to enter into solidarity with those who suffer.
None of us are better than the next guy. None of us are immune to pain passed from generation to generation. The way to eliminate those who bug us is to enter through two progressive channels; first, realize that every individual we believe to be a problem may have been severely neglected in earlier years, and second, that we have traits ourselves that drive other people nuts. We can count on it.
Compassion like Jesus will eliminate our obsession with being disgusted with others.
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