I never gave a thought to preaching for I never gave a thought as a kid to even going to church. Church was not high on my bucket list.
Now I am one.
This is one of the most bizarre lives any man ever encountered. I still cannot get used to what I get to do. But especially Saturday nights scare me.
Several things bring this inner dis-ease about:
- Wondering if God will leave me in the pulpit by myself.
- Doubting I have a message that will give outrageous life to hearers.
- Fearing I won't be enough.
It is so weird being a preacher. I can't wait to get there to hear what I've got to say; yet my mind goes nutso scrambling for word formation while my heart fights for air.
I love the church and believe deeply in the people in front of me. They are so very much more than they believe themselves to be. My job is to keep their fire lit by exposing them to the Hero named Jesus.
I fight tearful collapse Sunday after Sunday by covering with goofy humor. Ah, they are good to laugh. We even have groomed professional laughers. But the tension....oh it exhausts me.
So I say this to those of you who are not Memorialites. Be good to your preacher tomorrow morning. If he acts weird it could be he feels to pressure so strongly he's trying to keep from passing out.
The Saturday night jitters....well, they are valuable and important and I hope they never go away....but I always root for me the next morning!