After preaching these 37 years, I find yet another level unknown to my work. No one told me this would happen. I've never read about it.
For the past few months I have been overwhelmed as I prepare for the actual sermon delivery. The experience is so foreign I don't know that I can express it well to you...and that is a large part of my point.
In years past my obsession was that of most ministers; what will I say? Can I find enough material? Will the outline flow? Lately, the question I have regards my delivery in that I know I have a message from God; but I don't understand it clearly.
Now such a comment might set me up for immediate mocking. That's okay. I speak to those who are growing with me in the Spirit of Jesus. While the Word assures us we co-labor with Him, His ways are always higher than ours. This truth means we are engaged in areas over our heads....literally.
I love preaching. It is exciting and fulfilling. Yet, it remains illusive in that I must submit to it when its grasp seems a bit out of my reach. God is in the details. It is God who delivers sharply through our fumbling phraseology and our mindless comments. It is God who whispers and calls hearts over to His corner. We are His mouthpieces.
What an honor. What a privilege. I love every day of it. But I must say that as time advances, I feel more insecure about my skill and more insistent He loaned me His.
I'm in over my head when it comes to preaching....and it feels oddly right.
3 comments:
Terry,
Not sure you are looking for any input on this blog entry...just expressing yourself, but I'll comment anyway (ha, sorry, it's the preacher in me). After 33 years of preaching, I know there are times when I need a "break." Or more accurately, a "sabbatical" - and for different reasons: regain perspective, recharge, or just relax. I've had issue with the "dilivery" aspect of preaching also...took six months off...helped immensely.
Being "in over my head" is a good thing though...as you said, "God is in the details." And because of that I know you (and God) will use this to His glory.
John
I totally get what you are saying. I sat in your office on a Thursday morning of a workshop week and you talked about sermon preparation and what to do with the sermon when you are finished. You told a group of us the importance of allowing the Spirit to lead and that the sermon was for that day and time.
After hearing what you had to say, I went home and threw away every sermon I had in my file. Today, after I preach a sermon, the notes go into the trash.
I want Spirit-filled preaching that relies on God's skills, not mine. I do not know how to preach, but God does. I marvel many times while I am speaking because I know I could not come up with what I am saying!
preaching for me is an opportunity to see the Spirit at work!
Terry I feel "in over my head" everytime i try to communicate the word. I'm just not up to it.
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