A SHEPHERD'S HEART

A trait I carried into the kingdom which turns many against me is I am so rough around the edges.  I was trained as a Pharisee and my pliable heart welcomed the rigid instruction.  After all, this merely continued my strict upbringing.

A huge problem with this is obvious.  I didn't possess the Shepherd's heart.  I was equipped with forceful ways of standing for Truth by trying to sound the part.  I was big on image....although, at the time, I had it wrong.  My goal was not people; it was sermon preparation and delivery.  Whether it hurt or helped was of little concern.  I was a gospel preacher!

But the Chief Shepherd would not let me remain in such a trench.  He won't go there we me...or with us.  Right standing with God may be our motto; yet the problem is He isn't standing there with us in such poses.  Jesus breaks the pompousity of us.  For me it is an ongoing process.

I saw this correct heart in others and regarded them as cowardly and weak; as having left the True faith.  I was mistaken.  My last few sets of elders (shepherds) have helped me as much as anything or anyone.  I see in them an incredible non-judgmental style which is foreign to my loud and lording personality.  I think I have learned over the past several years from some of the best.

The question for each of us is do we care about God and care about people?  I am learning to speak, to preach, with greater compassion for I want the hearers to get a better shot at actually hearing the heart of God. 

Sensitivity is all over Jesus.  That is who he is; his trek and his message.  It was not who I was....but who I fully intend to become.