I'm no psychologist. I am a compassionate person. I know hurt. I also know misery.
Misery is an strange sort of fellow in that it often loves its own company. By that I mean for a long time I dwelt in the sad land of "poor me" intentionally. I could create misery in my head and live it out pouting, paranoid, and pessimistic. I enjoyed my misery because I wanted people to care and sympathy was usually nearby.
Of course I denied such to myself for misery loves its own company.
I have bad news for those who linger in this trap; there is a way out. The reason this is bad news--for some--is the deep desire to remain stuck there for it seems this is the only way for attention. This goes on among us and it is a big lie.
While I am not the expert counselor, I can tell most how to leave the doldrums of misery. Begin to care about others. Care for their happiness. Care for their good breaks. Misery only stays afloat when we fail to love others more than ourselves. Joy breaks in when we will surrender our need for attention and give ourselves in great cause to another.
I know this doesn't make me look good in admitting any of this; yet I was a professional misery man. For many years now I have enjoyed a brand new life....maybe about fifteen years now. I know I preached a long time with each day buried with inner struggles.
Today I still have pain and suffering of various strains. But His fruit of joy is ever-present. When I really got it that my problem wasn't other people (the elders, the church, the neighbors), I had to admit I had been framed by my own moody disposition.
I am sympathetic to those who have been hurt. But I'm not so toward those who live miserable lives rehearsing repeatedly to themselves and to others how badly they have been mistreated. These need to get a life....and I mean they really need to get the life Jesus came to offer.
The way out of misery is to die on our own crosses. Crosses always benefit someone else...but never the one dying on it. There is a way out of misery. This is bad news to some for they enjoy such a habitation. But it is remarkable news for those like me who despise living there...and know it is very much self...but just need to pull the plug on such ridiculous practice.
Make a move from misery. Genuinely care about others and quit the trap of gaining sympathy from anyone who will listen. The former will lift you up. The latter will pull you and your friends down.