The following comment (and my response) on my blog of November 14...TULSA WORKSHOP: LEADERSHIP ADJUSTMENTS FOR THE FUTURE....was left yesterday.
Anonymous said...
Why bash Garnett and the Elders and leaders so much? I thought we are on the same team doing work for the Lord. Terry, do you smile at these comments? and say nothing? Why would people at Memorial say these things? I am anonymous bc I do not trust these blood thirsty people. No different in Jesus time either.
Terry Rush said...
To "Anonymous-the-last", I feel you must be misreading the comments:
1. Did you read my article supporting Garnett and their elders?
2. Did you see a couple of comments where I got in trouble for supporting them?
3. Where do you get Memorial commentors degrading Garnett? It isn't there.
4. So what am I not understanding from you? Where are you getting "blood thirsty"?
5. I have tried to assure you I am not attacking anyone.
Something is amiss here. I've never attacked Garnett and no commentors from Memorial did either. It is still...I will say once again....difficult to respond to "anonymous". Yet, I try. We love Garnett...and those who are hurt by staying and those who are hurt in leaving. If you should not be satisfied and leave another anonymous note degrading and misrepresenting my efforts....then that will have to suffice. I will not respond again. My duty is to support Wade and Garnett...and I have.
The reason I post this is to encourage those of you who are trying your best to lead, yet continue to take hits. How do we deal with "anonymous"? (I heard last night of a local preacher who's been getting so many hateful letters...unsigned.) Trying to deal with this when it hits one personally is so different than offering advice when you haven't been on the receiving end. I am on the receiving end. So listen up if this would help.
Hateful words aren't of the Holy Spirit. However, He can use them to our advantage. Among the many characteristics of Jesus, he was a master at taking criticism. We must have injury to learn his walk. Injury will hurt; that's its purpose. Use these times to try to learn not to lash back. That's a big difference in Jesus from me. I hit the end of my rope and "kaboom", I begin to swing. I'll take it for months...even years....and then I'll break. Jesus wouldn't. He stayed on the cross.
Being hurt is an important part of ministerial training. When we learn to love those who are trying to kill us, it may be a good signal we are starting to get just a glimpse of what our Friend endured. He did it. We can, too. But, as for me and maybe you...it will take some practice. Nicely said....but difficultly walked as practice can only come from the training of more injurious insult. If we are to grow we must accept the scholarship of pain which is issued often by "anonymous".
7 comments:
You nailed me today with this one, Terry. It is precisely what I needed at the precise time I needed it. I am in the process of leaving one church as minister and going to another, and the smear campaign is pretty intense. I have vowed to stay positive and non-confrontational during it all, but each time you hear something untrue being spread, the gut reaction is to react. Thanks for the needed reminder.
As one from Memorial, I'd say that you are so right, we don't put Garnett down at all. We pray for them, with them, and long for their unity and the people, to be one body. Just as we do in our own church.
As with most churches, you will often see distension among the people. There are times of unity, and there are times of division. Sometimes, in division, you will find unity, peace, harmony, and a new beginning.
I've been at Memorial for almost 3 years now and I can safely say, I have no idea what goes on at other churches. I have no idea what is going on at Garnett. I don't pay attention. I sometimes hear bits and pieces, but choose not to get involved in what I call "Church Tabloids." They are not in writing, but they are in words, and they can be hurtful. Is Memorial...or any other church...faultless??? Absolutely not. And if we were to say otherwise would be a lie. BUT, I think we recognize what words and actions can do to the people of a congregation and we try very carefully...as you have done Terry...to say everything in love and kindness as we have been taught by our leader, Jesus.
I pray for Anonymous. I pray that God puts peace in their heart for this situation and all situations that bog them down.
Memorial, Terry, and our leaders have not bashed Garnett. EVER!!! They have walked beside them in prayer, love, and support through this ministry. We are all on the same team, and that's God's team.
I understand finding safety in being anonymous. But realize being anonymous doesn't protect your heart from the hurt and pain that it is going through. You can hide from the world, but you can't hide from the only one that truly matters and that is God.
Terry, I don't think we "deal" with things like this. God knows what is on our hearts and he hears our prayers. He knows our desires and they are louder than the screams of one person who choses to remain in the shadows.
The only thing we can control in situations like this is our recation to it. We can't control someone elses actions...but only our reactions. And I think the best reaction is prayer. It is our best line of defense. Sure, we'll always take blows. Some punches will be harder than others, some stones will be larger, but our armour will always be as big as our faith in our God!
Love you today!
You do an amazing job at being on top of things that are pertinent in my life. Dealing with criticism is never easy, especially when it's Anonymous criticism.
Thanks Terry. Keep helping, teaching and encouraging us.
Terry - I was given a link to your blog from a good friend of mine Franklin Wood. I have been checking out your blog for a month or two just never commented until now.
You have some good thoughts in this post especially the last few paragraphs. I have a question for you: why waste your time with anonymous cowards? I have no idea what this issue is about but people like anonymous who are unable to sign a post or a letter with their real names are nothing but cowards. And cowards aren't worth my time. When people leave hatemail and refuse to leave their name I have no respect for them and no desire to even respond to their claims. Give me a name and I'll give you a response.
Anyway, hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
Take care,
Jeremy Divis
One more thing: anonymous cowards are like the guys that lurk in the dark behind the bushes with a mask on just waiting for some poor innocent soul to walk by so they can rob them, or rape them or murder them. It's actually quite pathetic.
Here you are and other good men like you trying to make something good happen in the world and these lurkers are out there misrepresenting and refusing to reveal themselves. Man this just irks me. I mean no offense by what I am about to say, but I feel an urge to say it. I really wish you would not have responded to this person. It gives relevance to what this lurker is saying.
Jeremy
Ok. A couple more things. I just went back and reread your original post and the comments by all these anonymous people.
Are we talking about the churches of Christ in these posts? If so, what a shame. There are so many other things we could be doing with our lives. The fact I'm sitting here typing me makes me part of the guilty. I am so tired of the fighting. So much so that I do not see much of a difference in the churches of Christ and any other denomination. Orgainized religion has become a blight on Christianity. The main reason I stay with the Southwest CoC in Omaha is because it seems that most of them care about other people as opposed to what might be happening at some other CoC across town. That's what Christianity is all about, love God, love our neighbors. Where does all this hate come from?
All right. I'm done. I'll leave your blog now.
take care,
Jeremy
Terry, as you know , being in ministry for some reason opens the flood gates of criticism. What we do or don't do, say or don't say or the way we say it, etc, just makes some loving folks turn to stinkers. We all can fall into the trap of being a control freak if we are not careful.
After being at my last place of full time ministry for 5 years one person disliked me so much he finally popped his cork on me not only verbally but physically. The answer from the elders was to fire me instead of confronting sin. Hurt? You know it hurt. But a year later I am so much better having grown and desiring to grow more. I realize I have been and am being pruned by the "Vineyard Keeper".(John 15)
I have been in secular work since leaving that place because I refused to take that baggage to another congregation. I praise God for His loving me enough to let me endure, grow, carry on in service at another loving congregation and heal. God has a plan for our journey,and as you know, we just have to let Him lead. Brother, for every hard hearted "anonymous" you receive just remember what the Vineyard Keeper is accomplishing in and for you......all for HIs good pleasure. WOW, what a great journey it has been and will continue to be!!!
E.E.S.
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