MIND GAMES

I am the worst guy you ever met when it comes to insecurity. Sometimes I wonder if my maiden name was Anxiety. I was amazing at living wobbly and teetering on train wreck. Instability was a staple with me. I could turn a rose garden into hidden agenda. I could take any good situation and talk myself into upset. I'm not kidding. When in high school I dated a gal who was pretty neat but I felt I was not good enough for her so I made up a story to get her to sympathize with me and like me even more. I told her another guy said he liked her.

That was a lie. He never said it, but I figured I'd gain her devoted attention with this ploy. I thought she'd say to me something like, Oh most adorable, tall, and handsome hunk, don't you ever worry. You are the most amazing chiseled man of all my dreams. Uh, it didn't work that way. You know the guy I "made up" the story about? She immediately started dating him! Neither was on the other's radar until I made up this story....I think!?!

One of my poor traits which has really taken a lot of work for me to get past or get over is creating situations in my mind...negative views I believed others to have....which were never in their minds...ever. I simply imagined them. I was guilty of always assuming....the darkest scenario. My assumptions were always the worst instead of the better. If someone didn't respond or react to me the way I felt they should have, I worried as to what I did wrong or said wrong when in reality they most likely weren't even thinking about me. They may have been having a bad day of their own, but I could turn it so that I was responsible.

Stop it! If you are doing this, stop it! In general, good people aren't going around hating you, plotting against you, and playing mind games with you. It's us...people like us...who play the mind games. The sad thing is when the game is going on we are usually playing solitaire while believing there are two of us at the table. Not. Others aren't even on the radar screen. We've made this up! We've invented what we think they think and what we think they think we think....and it's all screwy! Stop it.

I'm learning that if I don't get a response favorably the other person may simply be distracted or maybe my idea isn't good. But, I must quit taking things so personally. I'm not that big of a deal. People really do have lives which don't center around me. I know that is a shock to all readers, but it's true. I'm not the main moment. For those of you who struggle as I did, you aren't the main event, either. Life isn't about you. It's about Him and all of us.

Life has a lot of hoops we must learn to jump through. Some aren't so easy. But playing mind games is a dead end street. I really believe there are many reading this who have no clue what I'm discussing. However, there are several who clearly know the topic at hand.

Relax. And when we do? We begin to find life much more productive, manageable, and enjoyable.