I wonder if I'm too busy doing God's work to care. Something is starkly misappropriate if such is the case. Therefore, I'm telling you an inner something: whether it's fear or laziness or indifference or something totally unknown, I can't seem to determine. The world is in dire need of the love of Christ and I'm failing to get the word out!
At times I feel like a storehouse of riches which are organized only to later be reorganized, but never leave the warehouse. I'm not referring to sitting in my office versus leaving for the streets. It's bigger. It's more. I'm talking about my lifestyle. Compared to the vast need of crying hearts, I'm frustrated at my impotence. News of hope for millions grows dimmer.
The body concept I wrote of last week helps. Yet, there's something about me personally which feels this continual call from within to be proactive for the downtrodden. I think about the global starving while Mary and I take another couple out to eat (for the third meal of the day....third). Our world is in one huge indescribable mess. I have the message of hope. Something isn't connecting here.
Do you ever feel this way? It's not random either; but nearly daily. I live daily with the feelings the disciples had when there were so many thousands to feed and only a sack lunch. So what is it I'm missing in faith to release the wonder of Jesus into this vast and oceanic-sized need of starvation, slavery, murder, and sheer maniacal hatred which blankets mankind? Do I miss His call because I'm numb to needs while trying to minister over so many details?
I'm not depressed, dear reader; but I am upset. I'm perpetually hungering to save the world...literally...from all misery. Why do I have so very many riches? I live like three kings. I buy a lunch for a stranger here and donate a coat there and pray for a team we send off to Honduras for a week. The cry for help from near and distant lands is far bigger than my spirit can absorb; yet, we must take action.
Do you feel this way? I believe there must be an answer to unlock doors into the dark of abyss of the wealthy, the poor, the leaders of nations and the blue collar laborers. There has to be a more effective way to dent darkness than what I'm doing. Any thoughts? Am I stuck in a religious rut? Has God some approach no man has thought of yet? How shall we bring salvation to humanity?
7 comments:
Terry ~ I wouldn't say you are failing to get the word out. You do a great job at communicating. I think it depends on the ears that hear it.
I see a growing need for the problems you have addressed. However, I see downtrodden in our own church. Maybe not financially, but spiritually and emotionally. When things are going wrong among us, our eyes lose focus of where our hearts really need to be paying attention. I might have a great day, and think of how I can focus on missions, and then I may have a horrible day, and will totally focus on myself and my own needs. This makes me want to be in prayer that at all times, I should think of others, and let the Father think of me. When I am down and out, my focus shifts.
We can't lose sight of our own brethern when we have our eyes looking in another direction. Something maybe going on right next door and we may not know it. I have to do a self check to know that emotinally and spiritually..I'm not downtrodden before I can put my eyes in the right direction. But I also have to make sure that I'm not ALWAYS aware of self, but rather, focusing on selflessness and reaching out to those that are in need. I admire you my friend.
I believe you answered these questions when you wrote about the seed principle. Also, Ruth changed the world through a conscience effort to pursue the good of life; she did what she could and the world met Jesus as a result.
We must simply do what we can and God will make a big difference from it.
What can I say? I can't encourage you...why would I do that? You aren't seeking encouragement. I can simply identify--and I do. I do.
I cannot say my soul feels a "void"...it's much more than that--it's more of a "vacuum". It's the aching pain of feeling the monumental needs of the "least of these" within my soul and hearing the cries echo within my spirit--yet being unalbe to discover the answer that I know is out there somewhere within my reach--if only I could get my fingers clenched around it!
I suppose the answer is to "wait". I feel that as we are experiencing this spiritual turmoil for "the downtrodden" that we are standing on the threshold of massive door to which our Father will open up and say "Go! You said 'send me'...now Go!"
And we will.
Terry,
Yes, God has a more effective way of reaching and unlocking the doors of darkness and its the same method He's always employed - human contact, one person at a time.
And I believe you do it right there in Tulsa as I do it here, with all the other believers. We have a huge force of "light" workers.
Now if we could just convince them as to how important they really are in being and bringing redemption to daily living.
Having said that, I'm still glad it bothers you that you feel this way...keep preaching it!
Your desperation is absolutely well founded. How can we escape the message of God's prophets to his people? The promise of punishment for breaking the first tablet of His law, and utter destruction for breaking the second. Of course, the voice of Jesus himself as he cried over Jerusalem who refused His comfort, His Word. We see His compassion for the mobs seeking a shepherd. His heart is evident when He is moved to action as He sees the humbled, desperate, destitute woman and her dead son walking resolutely to her end.
No, in your cry I hear hope. This is the true heart of a disciple. This is the same faith shown by the followers of the early centuries who died as martyrs and preceded that by caring for the rabble, the outcast of the Roman society. No, you embody something I covet for myself, a vision for true ministry. By God's grace, He's given me a precious wife who helps guide our family and me in this pursuit. But I need you to keep asking these questions. We need your prophesy.
Wow! ...while I always enjoy your blogs, today I am deeply moved... to tears... and I think the reason I am so profoundly touched by your transparent candor is because I feel that very same emptiness...
My personal ministry consists of trying to touch my coworkers with the love of Christ every day... and I fail miserably every day. I sing in a group, and we get to sing in front of thousands of folks every year... I also help a lot with worship activities each week... my 'church work'... and I try to 'be' a good father and husband.
But, alas, I feel overwhelmed. I feel so inept.
Aren't we supposed to make a difference? From my perspective, I cannot see how God is using me to make much of one...
But, therein may lie the beauty of it... therein is the hope: could it be that God IS using us exactly as He intends? ...could it be that it is our LIMITED PERSPECTIVE which blinds us to seeing the differences we are making?
Perhaps it's a small consolation... for though I do believe God is working through us as HE chooses, I, like you, still feel very very small...
God Bless
Tim Martin
Terry, I feel the same way.
Terry Laudett
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