tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post2109201109438129006..comments2024-03-07T02:42:15.115-06:00Comments on Morning Rush: WHAT TO SAY TO THOSE WHO GRIEVETerry Rushhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16143128192380736154noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-54172083267010583392008-04-22T09:36:00.000-05:002008-04-22T09:36:00.000-05:00A friend shared this with me, and as a person who ...A friend shared this with me, and as a person who has grieved deeply I would like to offer this:<BR/><BR/>Sometimes the first holiday doesn't stink to the depth you feared and you feel guilty for not feeling miserable because every adviser around you told you that you would. Sometimes the second and third holiday around stings even worse than the first because it is finally clear that the grief will not be resolved in short order.<BR/><BR/>You can prepare yourself for the burn of Christmas morning, but you cannot prepare yourself for the burn of going through the Taco Bell drive thru because you won't remember until you get to the window that you were just there with your loved one a month before. I think it is those moments that tortured me the most that first year.<BR/><BR/>I really appreciate that you have offered this advice and I hope that my thoughts are more helpful than nuisance.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07448845545173381789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-23408355826950881902008-04-16T12:14:00.000-05:002008-04-16T12:14:00.000-05:00Thanks for sharing. I firmly believe God works eve...Thanks for sharing. I firmly believe God works even in the most desperate of times.It's so difficult though to see how while "in the moment". Just trust that God is faithful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-82971240211853222262008-04-14T08:20:00.000-05:002008-04-14T08:20:00.000-05:00Good thoughts bro. Ministry gets tougher with eve...Good thoughts bro. Ministry gets tougher with every year in this area, but I think that's because we've experienced more of real life ourselves and others' tragedies touch the heart strings of our own.<BR/><BR/>Peace.Steve Pucketthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07060921451598274364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-50503249410631252922008-04-13T17:23:00.000-05:002008-04-13T17:23:00.000-05:00Thank you for your comments. I have been doing wha...Thank you for your comments. I have been doing what you have shared in your piece. I used to babysit a family's children. The wife lost her husband and two of her four kids in a car accident months ago this year. She is a dear person to me. It has helped to hear what you wrote. That I am doing it in a good way in the way you shared. <BR/><BR/>THank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-3423385263484854052008-04-13T16:46:00.000-05:002008-04-13T16:46:00.000-05:00Thank you for this. I hope you know how needed it ...Thank you for this. I hope you know how needed it was :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-17562191271387961802008-04-13T07:40:00.000-05:002008-04-13T07:40:00.000-05:00Very insightful. Thanks for the post.Very insightful. Thanks for the post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-47832703988548618232008-04-12T08:12:00.000-05:002008-04-12T08:12:00.000-05:00This is a beautiful post, especially when such wor...This is a beautiful post, especially when such words of wisdom come from true experience. elaineA Journey Well Taken: Life After Losshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13248752793967857144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-48784474649836309482008-04-10T21:46:00.000-05:002008-04-10T21:46:00.000-05:00Thanks for this and all the comments.Thanks for this and all the comments.Darin L. Hammhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16340560354136584509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-38241979741356141232008-04-10T14:46:00.000-05:002008-04-10T14:46:00.000-05:00never would have believed that the words i heard a...never would have believed that the words i heard almost a year ago at my mothers funeral would still be so fresh in my mind. GOD spoke to our family that day thru the kind words spoken and good deeds done by those that grieved with us.<BR/><BR/>love on that family and let GOD do the rest! his power is made perfect in our weakness.4:18https://www.blogger.com/profile/09026308123113268815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-8554311625875379132008-04-10T14:39:00.000-05:002008-04-10T14:39:00.000-05:00The shortest verse in the Bible may be the most pr...The shortest verse in the Bible may be the most profound in moments like this....Jesus wept.<BR/><BR/>He weeps with us and for us in our moment of sorrow because he cares deeply for our loss and he is greived by our pain.Zachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09052519793551369195noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-18879577181363009422008-04-10T14:35:00.000-05:002008-04-10T14:35:00.000-05:00This is great advice, and helpful.This is great advice, and helpful.Matthewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12804021069554494090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-77718335052983532952008-04-10T10:09:00.000-05:002008-04-10T10:09:00.000-05:00Great post ... great comments following. Sitting i...Great post ... great comments following. Sitting in silence with the hurting is perhaps the best thing to "say" of all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-15194899364564357272008-04-10T09:42:00.000-05:002008-04-10T09:42:00.000-05:00I agree. You are the best qualified to pour yourse...I agree. You are the best qualified to pour yourself into this family's life.<BR/><BR/>At Tulsa Workshop I happened across an old friend and former preaching school classmate who recently lost a daughter (28 years old, I think) to a failed lung transplant.<BR/><BR/>We talked a while and cried a little. He's an elder now in a Texas church, so I asked him, "How did your loss change the way you deal with grieving families?"<BR/><BR/>He said something like this: "Instead of giving advice or defending God, I show up to hug them and say, 'I love you.'"Keith Robertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17815756738388471002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-79604049085176937242008-04-10T09:21:00.000-05:002008-04-10T09:21:00.000-05:00The only thing I would add to this, having been a ...The only thing I would add to this, having been a preacher for years and now a funeral director who is called on weekly to do these types of funerals, is to either ask people close to the family to share some of the really uplifting, funny stories about the young man, or to open the mic (so to speak) for those stories. We find it better to ask people in advance. Those stories bring a different angle of "life" to all that you are going to say. And I would agree with Marcy M that you are THE person for this assignment. You've walked as close to where they are as anyone I know with the tragedy in your family many years ago. If given the opportunity, you might even share with that family that story, just so they will know you're not just saying words. They will know you as a fellow struggler.Stoogeloverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14634101864997990617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37091954.post-83138683726031666952008-04-10T08:03:00.000-05:002008-04-10T08:03:00.000-05:00Terry, there's no one who could better tell you ho...Terry, there's no one who could better tell you how to counsel this family than you yourself. What you wrote captures exactly what I felt during my experience with loss. I think the perfect person has been chosen to comfort them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com